4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize