She's JV to your varsity
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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