I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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