he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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