That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize