I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize