I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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