Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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