Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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