he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
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His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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