marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
