Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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