i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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