I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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