its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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