I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The air taste purple.
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