my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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