Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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