it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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