i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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