I want to make a zoo with you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
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i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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