if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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