Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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