You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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