batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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