Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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