South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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