that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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