There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize