Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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