i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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