Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize