This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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