We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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