I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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