I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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