Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize