you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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