Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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