honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Randomize