Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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