One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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