How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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