Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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