I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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