I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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