I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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