You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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