Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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