the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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