Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.

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(410): View more from Maryland

no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.

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(661): View more from California

There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.

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(972): View more from Texas

So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.

(281): View more from Texas

You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...

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(585): View more from New York

Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude our life is a booze cruise

(585): View more from New York

But without boats...

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(843): View more from South Carolina

its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain

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(847): View more from Illinois

She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.

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